First off, I would like to say that if it were not for God’s grace, mercy, healing, and restoration, my marriage would have ended up like so many others…the big ugly “D” word divorce. As a marriage survivor of infidelity, I feel strongly that God has placed upon my heart the burden of other marriages that are struggling. He has given me the opportunity to minister to other women who are going through a variety of situations.
God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), yet so many feel like it is the only option to fix their “problem.” While Jesus does give an “opt-out” button for adultery, it still is not His perfect will. What many do not realize is when they make get married they make a covenant not only to their spouse but also to Almighty God. A marriage is not a quick contract that can easily be dissolved with minor penalties. The repercussions of divorce are monstrous. Think of dropping a rock in a lake. The waves start out small but soon the whole lake feels the effects and weight of that rock.
So what causes infidelity anyway? It is not just something that happens in a few moments. It is something that takes time. It starts with the heart that is not guarded (Proverbs 4:23). It starts with a thought that has not been taken captive and made obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). It starts with words that are vomited out of mouths that are not uplifting, encouraging. It starts at a place where self becomes the center of focus in the individual’s life rather than Jesus.
An argument ensues yet again between spouses over the same thing. As tempers flare, words being to spew out that are not thought through. Thoughts begin to form on how to get even or the “what if’s” begin to play out. Pain causes walls to be built. It could be stressors of bills, loss of job, children being defiant, etc. that seem to be the problem but deep down it becomes a heart issue.
If your marriage is struggling, take a look at your own life. Is it Jesus centered, with a guarded heart and thought life? Are words being spoken that are uplifting and encouraging instead of demeaning?
(I do know and understand there are some marriages struggling where one spouse has “jumped off the deep end” and the problems are not the results of the other spouse.)
Infidelity in a marriage is when one puts self before spouse. Infidelity of the heart begins when you do not place Jesus first and other things become more important to you than your relationship with Him. As Christians we are the bride of Christ meaning he is the bridegroom. We should put Him in the forefront of all of our thoughts, words, and actions. We should reflect who He is. When we choose the things of this world over him we commit infidelity of the heart. We are all guilty of infidelity of this fashion. Thankfully He is the great Forgiver and Cleanser of all unrighteousness.
Many out there are struggling with various addictions/idols. These could be in the world’s eyes big like Adultery, Gambling, Drinking, Pornography, Drugs, etc. But what about the other addictions/idols like food (gluttony), drama (crave to hear juicy junk), gossip (tell others about juicy junk), notoriety (wanting to be recognized by others), TV, Internet, even social media like Facebook, Twitter. We have to realize that anything that diverts our eyes, hearts, and thoughts away from our “Husband” (Isaiah 54:5) or anything else we run to in a stressful situation for comfort instead of going to our Comforter is considered infidelity of the heart.
If you feel like your relationship with Christ is struggling, take a look at your own life. Is it Jesus centered with a guarded heart and thought life? Are words being spoken that are uplifting and encouraging instead of demeaning?
It is time to take accountability for our own actions that have led to infidelity in our hearts. It is time for hearts to be forgiven, for restoration in our relationships to occur whether in our relationship with Christ or our marriage (which means both).
Friday, April 6, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
The Title
Okay so there is a joke behind the title of this post and I have to confess it started from a conversation my husband and I were having about movie selections. So the story goes like this...We were on the PBS website because we were interested in seeing what Masterpiece! titles they had available. I then clicked on the educational part of the classroom and saw a title I had recognized. I said, "Oh, they have this movie." My husband goes, "Oh really, well what is it about?" I said, "Well I really don't know but I have heard of the title before." We had a big laugh and discussed making a movie and a book entitled The Title and the cliff notes of The Title, and on and on the conversation went. It was late, we were tired and slap happy, but, needless to say, we were laughing our heads off.
So this has been running around in my head over the past few days and it got me thinking. How often is our relationship with Christ built on just the title of the Bible instead of the words inside. We find ourselves getting caught in ruts and having serious doubt issues because we look at the title of the "Good Book" and feel that is enough. Or we bring our Bibles to church after we dust the cover off from the weekly build-up that has occurred just to turn around and do it again the following week. We come to a place where then our beliefs become messed up because we only follow what the preacher preaches which often times gets twisted somewhat in our thinking due to our flesh. Then there are those who look at the title "Holy Bible" and come to a conclusion that nothing is truly holy anymore.
How much more fulfillment would we have if we really had an in-depth relationship with Jesus Christ! He so desires daily communion with us. He wants us to get past the title of the book and read His love letter. For some who have been around the block again in the church realm it can become easy to let the stories become too familiar thus losing the aspect of what God is really wanting to show us through them.
Back to the story about the movie selection...We decided to give the movie a try because of the title seemed familiar even though we did not really know a thing about it. Ended up that we did not even finish watching it. It was sick, twisted, demented. I did not do any research about the story prior to watching and it became a bad decision.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His Word says this. It does not mean he is the "same ol', same ol'." It means that His promises are true, that His Word is alive, now and forevermore. If the Bible has become just a title that you have become familiar with, or your relationship with Christ seems to be more of just a "well I gotta have Him to get to Heaven," or if the Bible stories just seem monotonous then it is time to stop looking at the title and open up the Holy Book, more importantly your heart. Ask God to come in and reveal Himself fresh and new. This is the smartest research you could ever do with your life, making it the best decision ever.
So this has been running around in my head over the past few days and it got me thinking. How often is our relationship with Christ built on just the title of the Bible instead of the words inside. We find ourselves getting caught in ruts and having serious doubt issues because we look at the title of the "Good Book" and feel that is enough. Or we bring our Bibles to church after we dust the cover off from the weekly build-up that has occurred just to turn around and do it again the following week. We come to a place where then our beliefs become messed up because we only follow what the preacher preaches which often times gets twisted somewhat in our thinking due to our flesh. Then there are those who look at the title "Holy Bible" and come to a conclusion that nothing is truly holy anymore.
How much more fulfillment would we have if we really had an in-depth relationship with Jesus Christ! He so desires daily communion with us. He wants us to get past the title of the book and read His love letter. For some who have been around the block again in the church realm it can become easy to let the stories become too familiar thus losing the aspect of what God is really wanting to show us through them.
Back to the story about the movie selection...We decided to give the movie a try because of the title seemed familiar even though we did not really know a thing about it. Ended up that we did not even finish watching it. It was sick, twisted, demented. I did not do any research about the story prior to watching and it became a bad decision.
Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His Word says this. It does not mean he is the "same ol', same ol'." It means that His promises are true, that His Word is alive, now and forevermore. If the Bible has become just a title that you have become familiar with, or your relationship with Christ seems to be more of just a "well I gotta have Him to get to Heaven," or if the Bible stories just seem monotonous then it is time to stop looking at the title and open up the Holy Book, more importantly your heart. Ask God to come in and reveal Himself fresh and new. This is the smartest research you could ever do with your life, making it the best decision ever.
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